Igniting our Sleeping Brains
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I went to lunch with some friends and one said, .
“I haven’t gotten one of your newsletters for a while”
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An email arrived reminding me
how much they enjoy reading the newsletters.
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I have been in Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard, and Nantucket,
eating lobster (the kids started to count how many)
and finally felt compelled to come home before I grew a claw.
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I only hope that I can make it as
profound an insight for you
as I have found it to be.
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I’ve chosen the psychology of choice
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Is choice a personal preference
we simply shrug our shoulders
and act on,
or does it actually
create changes in our brain?
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No one wants to hear
that they’ve been making themselves unhappy
by their choices.
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I acknowledge that without control of our choices,
we can actually become sick…
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But that control,
whether actual or perceived,
should lead to a point
of finalizing the choice
and then committing to that decision.
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Closing our eyes,
Holding our breath
and hoping that we chose the right path
isn’t enough
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We need to commit to it.
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Then actual physical changes in our brain take place
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Commitment is the tough part
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It requires self-discipline,
turning from the world of options
that are so tantalizing.
and moving forward through the
difficult valleys of learning a lesson.
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From choice,
we develop focus
and eventually feel happier.
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Who would have thought –
happier
because we excluded the world of options
and took
a singular path toward a goal.
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66% of Americans seem to misunderstand
the psychology of choice
and unfortunately
choose to make themselves unhappy
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If I offered two options for lessons.
Option 1:
A month of violin lessons.
At the end of the month,
you can choose to move to harp, piano or cello.
or stay on violin
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Option 2:
Violin lessons committed to for a year.
The cello, harp and piano are shipped out
to needy kids somewhere in some far off country…
so there isn’t a chance for you to change your mind.
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Most of us like choice and freedom
so 2/3 of us would probably want
the wiggle room
and choose Option 1
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…..beeeeeep…..
wrong answer if you want to be happy.
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It appears that if you have two open-ended options,
floating elusively before you –
requiring no commitment
you won’t put yourself into either one,
you won’t develop a mental or emotional bond.
with either choice
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Then, when you move onto
the harp or whatever instrument you choose next
it will just be another uncommitted decision.
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There is no closure to your choice.
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You stay poised,
teetering in the uneasy world
of not being on some path toward a goal.
You walk away from the experience
no happier
and no more fulfilled.
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Argue the point
in your mind
for a while
See if there doesn’t seem
to be a glimmer of truth in the concept.
(grass is always greener scenario I guess)
Those who say…..
“I’m in”
start to believe their choice
was actually the best choice.
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There is a physical change in the brain
that makes the choice the best.
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Do you remember …. when you were dating
and your date blew their nose in front of you……
you took it as a sign that they weren’t the one for you.
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But when your husband or wife does something on the
‘not so cool’ chart
“they’ve got a heart of gold,
don’t ruffle the feathers”
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I won’t go into it,
but they can prove
through scans of the brain
that there is a change.
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I think it’s a powerful stamp on the value of commitment.
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How will this change the way you take or offer music lessons?
I hope with the understanding that being
‘limited to your commitment’
there is actual freedom,
to move on
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toward a goal…
opening a world of opportunities
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When you become accomplished
goals are in your path
you’d never have a hope of reaching
if you were still
peeking through the door,
sticking your toes in the water
with your ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda’s
and your ‘if only’s’.
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Think about that and
ignite your mind!
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